Ok. Let's be honest. When you have a wedding, things do not always go as planned. Zippers break, time slips by, photo ops are missed, some of the parents might get too tipsy, a few guests want more dancing, some guests want more dessert, and two pages of your wedding ceremony might be omitted by the officiant.
I should have known that trouble was brewing when I got an email from the officiant just two short weeks before our wedding. He said he had a big performance with his men's choir immediately after our ceremony and wondered if A.) he could wear his performance tuxedo to our outdoor, casual-chic, rustic wedding and B.) we could get somebody else to sign that pesky wedding license (he simply did not have time to spare for these legal nuances). We agreed that he'd wear a necktie instead of the bow tie with his tuxedo and that he'd make sure the license was signed. It seemed that everything was arranged for the big day.
I think it goes without saying that, as something my husband and I created together, the ceremony was meaningful and personal yet chock full of sentiments we wanted to proclaim to the world. Luckily, the truncated ceremony prevented there from being a single set of smudged mascaraed lashes in the place. Nobody even had a chance to shed a tear! It ended up being short, sweet, and got the job done. That being said, I'd really like to share the whole thing here. And don't worry, it's not a tear jerker anyway.
Today we acknowledge that love forms a circle that gathers in the whole family. T and R would like to thank each of you for traveling so far to take your place in this circle today.
This man and this woman stand in our midst now to celebrate in public ceremony what has already become a reality in their lives. In doing so they allow us to participate in honoring what they have discovered and nurtured together. Their relationship is a freely chosen and ever-evolving partnership. The love, trust, and respect that they have for each other will continue to grow, building upon the foundation that they have laid.
Who presents this woman to stand beside this man?
R's parents answer in unity: We do.
Statement of Intention:
T and R, we know that this ceremony can only symbolize the relationship you have established with each other. The reality of that relationship will continue to be built in the days and years to come as your marriage grows through the strength of your love and commitment to each other.
Marriage is a partnership between equal individuals with common goals, hopes, and dreams. Marriage is looking outward together in the same direction.
Your marriage will make your burdens lighter because you divide them. It will make your joys more intense because you share them.
Together, you will be strengthened to make your contributions to the world as individuals. Give of yourself wholly but remember to preserve yourself--your integrity, your individuality. This is the challenge of love within a marriage.
What you promise today must be renewed tomorrow as you continually build an atmosphere of caring and mutual respect. A fulfilling marriage is created each day, when the little things confirm the big things.
Cherish the intimacy and understanding that comes with the passage of time.
Marriage is a partnership between equal individuals with common goals, hopes, and dreams. Marriage is looking outward together in the same direction.
Your marriage will make your burdens lighter because you divide them. It will make your joys more intense because you share them.
Together, you will be strengthened to make your contributions to the world as individuals. Give of yourself wholly but remember to preserve yourself--your integrity, your individuality. This is the challenge of love within a marriage.
What you promise today must be renewed tomorrow as you continually build an atmosphere of caring and mutual respect. A fulfilling marriage is created each day, when the little things confirm the big things.
Cherish the intimacy and understanding that comes with the passage of time.
T’s niece will now read a passage from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams.
Passage Reading:
Passage Reading:
“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?"
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand."
Vows:
T, do you take R to share your life with you? Do you promise to be with her and for her? To respect her individuality? To share your feelings and experiences with her? To comfort her in hard times, rejoice with her in good times and to love her? Do you promise not only to hear but to always listen? Do you promise to respect R, take care of her, and to love her always, as she is your beloved and best friend?
If so, answer, “I do.”
Please repeat these words after me:“I choose you, R, to be my wife. I give you my love and commitment. I will honor, respect, encourage and cherish you everyday for as long as I live.”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?"
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand."
Vows:
T, do you take R to share your life with you? Do you promise to be with her and for her? To respect her individuality? To share your feelings and experiences with her? To comfort her in hard times, rejoice with her in good times and to love her? Do you promise not only to hear but to always listen? Do you promise to respect R, take care of her, and to love her always, as she is your beloved and best friend?
If so, answer, “I do.”
Please repeat these words after me:“I choose you, R, to be my wife. I give you my love and commitment. I will honor, respect, encourage and cherish you everyday for as long as I live.”
Sister will read “i carry your heart with me” by e.e. cummings.
Poem Reading:
i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
Exchange of Rings:
These rings are symbols of your love. They are round, just as the earth and the stars are round. The wind, in its greatest power, whirls. Birds make their nests in circles. The sun comes up and goes down again in a circle. Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing and always come back to where they were. Life is a circle from childhood to childhood. So it is in everything where love moves. Just as a circle has no end, so may your love for one another be endless.
R, you may place this ring on T’s finger and repeat these words after me:
T, as a symbol of my love and faithfulness to you, I give you this ring.
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)
i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
Exchange of Rings:
These rings are symbols of your love. They are round, just as the earth and the stars are round. The wind, in its greatest power, whirls. Birds make their nests in circles. The sun comes up and goes down again in a circle. Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing and always come back to where they were. Life is a circle from childhood to childhood. So it is in everything where love moves. Just as a circle has no end, so may your love for one another be endless.
R, you may place this ring on T’s finger and repeat these words after me:
T, as a symbol of my love and faithfulness to you, I give you this ring.
Closing:
T and R, we have heard you promise to share your lives in marriage. We recognize the pledges you have made. It is not a minister standing before you that makes your marriage real, but the honesty and sincerity of your vows. On behalf of all those present, I take your hands together and acknowledge that you are husband and wife.
T and R, we have heard you promise to share your lives in marriage. We recognize the pledges you have made. It is not a minister standing before you that makes your marriage real, but the honesty and sincerity of your vows. On behalf of all those present, I take your hands together and acknowledge that you are husband and wife.
Family and friends, it is now my honor to present the newlyweds!
